I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
