I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
