do herpes really smell.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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