i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
