Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
