I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
