she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
