if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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