no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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