why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
