Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
