who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
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Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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