Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
