Who wears a wallet chain?!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
