I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
