i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
