i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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