How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
