How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
