I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
