Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How does it feel to date your dad?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
