i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
