so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
