So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
