you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
