I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
