Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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