I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
