we're blogging at a bar
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
