Please, let me fuck your mom
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
