i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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