shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dick very happy bro
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
