I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize