I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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