I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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