I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
