the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
