Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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