Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
