All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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