Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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