Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize