after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
