and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
