ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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