You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
