for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
