i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize