it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
