There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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