Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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