have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
