I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
