we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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