Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
