small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
