P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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