...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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