Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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