i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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