pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
